The other day I was thinking abut something I have always known, but for some reason it really hit me this time and made me sad.
I will never be able to read all of the books I want to read. My "to read" list is so long, and it keeps growing. There is no way, even if all I did was sit around and read 24/7/365, that I could finish all of the books on it.
I know, I know, everyone had this problem. I don't know why it suddenly made such an impact on me. I just remember going through the biography and non-fiction collections at the library where I intern and thinking about how interesting the Jane Austen biographies looked, (wow...I'm such a nerd...) and then it hit me: I can read many, maybe even all of the Jane Austen biographies in this library, but there are so many more out there. How will I ever read them all, and still have time to read all of the other books I want to read? I can't.
Maybe it also has to do with the fact that this internship is coming to an end. I can always come back to check out the books, but it won't be nearly as convenient. Plus, I like it at the library. I like the people I have been working with, and I'm also getting to know the members. The writers always have something to say, or at least they say something they think is interesting, and it's a calm and quiet place for me to sit and read or write a paper. And yes, I do stay after my shift is over to do work. In fact, I'm sitting in the writer's studio right now! Also, every time I go into the stacks to shelve books, I find another one I want to read. It's a gift and a curse!
So now I'm sad because I can't read everything and my internship is ending. I suppose there are worse things in this world.
I need some chocolate.